The UNDERDOG

I was super excited to get onto my laptop today and speak on my #niquenote from today because I am a true testament to being seen so often as the underdog. If I can go back in time, I can be honest and say at the forefront of my mind, I recall as a child my appearance was offsetting to most.  After constantly being told how mean I looked and how unattractive I was in comparison to my sister, I began to believe these things about myself. During that time, I had no idea that despite what those around me may have said, that God had so much more in store for me and was going to use those very words to elevate me to levels I would've never thought to imagine as a child. Indifferent from my sister, school was a challenge for me in my younger years. I would look at the words in a book and everything seemed to be a blur. I had a hard time reading and for the life of me I couldn't seem to comprehend many of mathematical concepts that were being taught to me. So as any child would do, I often acted out in school as a way to mask my shame. How many of you have had to mask things due to hurtful and damaging words? Back then, I don't believe teachers were educated on the various learning styles and it wasn't until 3rd grade that a good teacher, Mrs. Dewald,  took the time to realize that in fact my struggle was not that I could NOT learn but it was the fact of how I was being taught that did not compliment my learning style. It was in the 3rd grade I began to excel in my studies when my teacher figured out I was a kinesthetic learner. I in fact needed to utilized my hands when learning versus being expected to sit still and be talked at. Often times as the underdog, we are put in the rink without the proper tools to carryout the fight, but when we get access to the tools we need to achieve the task at hand  you better watch out!! The war of incompetent teachers, naysayers and challenging curriculum didn't stand a chance from that time on.

The underdog... you know, the one who had a baby in her teenage years, or the one that dropped out of school, the ugly girl in the neighborhood that everyone teased, you know the one on welfare robbing Peter to pay Paul, the one that sat and ate lunch alone in the staff lounge, you know who I'm talking about? Perhaps it's you, or perhaps you've been the one who has identified these individuals as the underdog. See the trouble with labeling people is that without knowing someone's story all you have to go on is what you see and we all know looks can be very deceiving. What most don't take into consideration about underdogs is that because we are presented with more hurdles than most and because the odds seem to always work against us, we have to strategize differently.  So while all you see is the fatherless child, the darker skin, the welfare check, or the GED, you don't know and you don't see the whole picture. As an underdog you get to a point in life where you realize it's pointless trying to prove yourself to people, especially people who have counted you out. I experience this most often in the church. People see your struggle based on your outer appearance or based on what they've heard about you and from that they decide your worth. Aren't you glad that peoples perception of you has no power in the determining of your destiny?? Often times, underdogs are also outcasts; there's no place for them to assimilate among  the majority, so they often find themselves alone... I often hear preachers say where 2 or 3 are gathered together... I apply this with underdogs as well because when 2 or 3 underdogs link, what everyone else said and used to count them out, they come together and those things begin to work for them instead of against them. That teenage mom finds hope within herself and begins to push herself and she finds herself not only finishing High School, but enrolls in college and then before she knows it, she has her degree. Not only that, she gets her business going  and all that which was said about her just becomes stepping stones that elevate her to levels that the naysayers said she'd never accomplish. The advantage an Underdog has is something called "resilience". When an underdog starts believing in themselves, this is when you better be careful.

In the story of David and Goliath, we all know that based on what people seen, David didn't stand a chance against Goliath, who was a giant. But what Goliath and everyone else didn't see was that David was resilient and he had a strategy! He knew he was viewed as the underdog, and contrary to what others said, David had a strategy that would crown him victor in the end. I can relate to David because once I had my strategy in the 3rd grade, I knew that every negative thing that had been said about me was going to in the end turn out to be a lie. Despite the insults, the backlash, the hurt and the pain, can I just tell you IT ALL WORKED FOR MY GOOD. 

I'll share this story and end my blog there.

In the Fall of 2014, a vacancy for the Board of Education had became available. For those of you who don't know anything about these kinds of positions, they are rare because they have advantages and people never really quit these kinds of positions. Initially, I hesitated about applying as I began to allow the naysayers to convince me I wasn't qualified for the position. Perhaps the fact I was young, black and a single mother would be reasons to work against me and so I had a moment of doubt. Even in that moment, I had no idea that God had in fact already gone ahead of me and re-positioned me for that which even I doubted I was qualified for. Like I told ya'll, underdogs always have a strategy. Instead of viewing my past in a negative light, I used my story as the ultimate tool that would provide my victory in the end so I went ahead and applied for the job. After waiting about two weeks, nearly 150 others had applied for the job as well. I remained confident in the plan and patiently waited. A week later, I received a call from Human Resources saying I was selected for an interview. Of the 150 candidates, 15 applicants were selected to interview. This meant I had a 1 in 15 chance of being selected for this position. Sometimes we get so caught up in our position in line that we lose focus. I wasn't focused on numbers 2-15 because I knew God had number 1 set aside just for me. I decided to take the time slot of the first (1) interview, which was 8am on a Wednesday morning. The morning of the interview I became extremely nervous. Before walking into the interview room, I decided to go into the bathroom and have a moment of self encouragement, as I'd done so many times before as an underdog. I walked into the interview room and sat at the head of the table with 12 older individuals looking directly at me. It was time to execute the plan. I decided not to pretend or impress but to be transparent, genuine and true to who I knew I was. It's so funny now looking back because all the interview questions, which I had no per-knowledge of, fell directly in alignment with my story. I had prepared a portfolio, that I ended up not even speaking about because who I was and presented in that interview was enough. After the interview, I was escorted out and told that they would be in touch in about a week. I left the interview and sat in my car and cried. I thanked God for the opportunity and told him that if it was his will then I'd be satisfied. I decided to take the day off and wash clothes to clear my mind. Around 3pm the same day, I received a call from a number that I didn't recognize. I quickly answered the phone and was greeted by the Director of the Division I had just interviewed with. She said to me " Ms. Moore, I know we said it would be about a week, but we were so blown away by your interview that we couldn't wait and want to offer you the job"!! DIDN'T I TELL YOU THAT YOU HAVE TO BE CAREFUL ABOUT WHO YOU LABEL AS THE UNDERDOG!!

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE BEEN SEEN AS THE UNDERDOG, I WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT YOU AREN'T COUNTED OUT!! GOD SEES AND HEARS YOU!! KEEP PUSHING AND TRUSTING IN THE PLAN AND PROCESS THAT GOD HAS FOR YOUR LIFE. 

-Nique  

Follow Through

I come from a family of talented athletes so growing up, I was no stranger to sports. While football was probably my favorite sport to watch, both my mom and dad were high school basketball stars so by default I thoroughly enjoyed watching basketball as well. As most children, my favorite basketball player was Michael Jordan. What I enjoyed most about watching Jordan was knowing he was always most likely going to score. In fact, Jordan had a true shooting percentage of 58. Outside of being a quick on your feet, and having impeccable ball handling abilities, what determines ones ability to make a shot is the ability to follow through. This requires proper hand and eye coordination as well as proper shooting formation. Without proper follow through, its an air ball or a missed shot every time.

I believe this applies to life circumstances as well. Often times we discover we are stagnant or we are not progressing as we should due to our refusal to follow through. I don't believe that this is a result of the inability but more so our lazy mindsets and comfortable attitudes that prevent us from following through and ultimately making our shot in life. Some of us in fact remain bench warmers. You know the ones that did just enough to make the team but have yet to acquire the skill set to make it on the court. What good is it to work hard enough to get your jersey and make the team but spend your time on the bench.  From the bench you are not able to experience the benefits of not only playing the game but winning the game either. From the bench you are simply an observer. Imagine how salty bench warmers are. They have to take a seat and sit back and watch their teammates in the spot light even though they are a part of the team as well. I find this to be so true especially with women. We can become so catty and envious of our friends, colleagues and family's success because they chose to follow through and receive the benefits of playing in the game and because you chose to be a bench warmer, you're salty. 

The reality is, the most rewarding accomplishments in life require follow through. There are no short cuts in life, especially not on this growth journey. When obtaining my Masters degree, I recall several sleepless nights and many times I considered giving up because the follow through seemed too difficult. But what rewarding successes have ever been easily obtained in life? To go further, I find this to be the most difficult thing when ending relationships or friendships. Far too many times we know the signs. We take the steps to finally call it quits, stop calling, stop texting, unfollow on social media and all the others things only to find ourselves right back in the arms of that person or persons we know are no good for us. We believe if we try again with a person that has clearly shown us they aren't the one, that things will be different and then we often discover the 2nd or 3rd go round ended worse than the first time. Why don't we follow through? Why do we see moving on as such a hard task? Is it our emotions, which we acknowledge aren't dependable? Is it our fear of being alone? What truly is the benefit of holding on to that which mean us no good? There's no way to win a loosing situation...

We often convince ourselves we can give CPR to dead situations even though no matter how you put it a dead situation is DEAD... If in fact we were to follow through, we have the opportunity to experience that which really is best for us. In many stories in the bible when Jesus traveled the world healing individuals, he didn't just heal because it was asked, he gave instruction, required follow through and then provided the blessing. In the story of the blind man, we know that he had been sitting on the side of the road begging for years. He heard that Jesus was visiting near by but because he was vision impaired, he did not have the ability to see Jesus's exact location. Regardless of his inability to see, he began to shout and despite the rebuke from others, Jesus heard him. When Jesus approached the man and he made his request to regain sight, Jesus responds with "Go, your faith has healed you". Notice that first God instructs him to GO... upon going, as instructed, his sight was then restored. In this situation, the blind man had to follow through with not allowing his inability to be a reason he missed out on his blessing. Far too many times, we make excuses and allow past hurts and experiences to enable us from accessing our blessings. It wasn't the fact that Jesus granted the blind mans request, but his follow through and faith were in alignment and in position to receive a winning shot.  Are you in position to receive the blessing you've been awaiting? What's your follow through looking like? In order for us to make the winning shot, perhaps we need to brush up on our follow through...

STOP PULLING, The POWER is IN THE PUSH

While cleaning my house over the weekend, I had finally made my way to the living room and began vacuuming the living room floor. In order to make sure I got all the dust particles from under the couch, it required me to move the couch so that I could reach parts are the carpet that the couch covered. In doing so, I attempted to pull the couch in on direction but the couch didn't move very far. In my next attempt to move the couch, this time I decided to push the couch and to my surprise, the couch seemed to almost easily glide right out my way. I then began to wonder why pulling the couch was far more difficult than pushing the couch. Then my 5th grade science lesson about the concept of "force" reminded me that force serves to our advantage when you push. When you are pushing, force adds additional weight to your body causing more friction and ultimately making the task of moving the couch easier. Opposite of pushing, when you are pulling, force serves as a disadvantage because force works against the body weight creating less  friction thus making the task of moving the couch more difficult. You know where I'm headed with this right? Perhaps the issue is not the problems or the people that we face in our lives, its the fact that we often overwork ourselves by pulling on things or people versus pushing through, and in some instances that may even mean pushing OUT THE WAY.

Have you ever wanted something for someone so bad and you felt you were doing your "job" of pushing them? Have you ever found yourself believing that "they just need a little push" only to discover that despite all your "pushing"the person remained exactly where they were afters weeks, months and even years of pushing? Well perhaps my friend that may be because while you may believe your pushing, you're in fact pulling because if in fact you were pushing, the friction would've worked and that person would be far along by now. The challenge with pulling is that is makes work harder and can even sometimes lead to injury. This explains the medical term of a "pulled back". When we engage in the act of pulling, we make things harder on ourselves, especially when it comes to pulling people. If I have to pull you, I now put myself in a compromising situation. This same concept holds true with life changes in general. We find ourselves not finishing school, or not financially stable, or not in that desired relationship because too much time is spent pulling on us. Perhaps this explains the importance of God pushing us THROUGH hard times and NOT PULLING on us, although sometimes we leave him with no other choice.  Is your back tied yet? Are you suffering from a "pulled back" as a result of pulling or being pulled on?

It's pretty obvious to see at this point that the POWER is in the PUSH. When I push my way through, the end results is not only do I get through but I'll get through swiftly. If I have to be pulled through, chances are I'm making things a lot more difficult for myself. Yes, there are times where we have a friend or loved one that needs a little push, but if you find after a few pushes the person has refuted your advice or support, and it'll show in their actions, then you'll end up pulling and experience the results of a "pulled back".  The reality is, especially as adults, we can't want more for people than they want for themselves. No matter what we may believe, force does not favor pulling so no matter how hard you pull on that boyfriend, girlfriend, best friend, mother, sister, brother, cousin, uncle , aunt or whoever to change, it won't happen until they are able to see the changes themselves so in the mean time go ahead and PUSH THEM RIGHT ON OUT YOUR WAY and you PUSH THROUGH to where you need to be. Too many of us right now are walking around hunched over with bad backs... It's time to seek some physical therapy and turn that pull into a PUSH!!

-Nique

Whatever you do, DON'T BECOME EVE!!

In a conversation today with a close friend, we stumbled upon the topic of women. While fully engaged in this conversation, I began to make connection to the fact that "it all began with Eve". My friend and I initially laughed but something about this comment really sparked my curiosity to make sense of some of the conclusions we had drawn. I then decided to visit the book of Genesis to make sure I had my story straight and I discovered some very interesting things. Now I will be honest and say this post may ruffle some feathers, but this is just my interpretation and perhaps may provide some insight to all my sisters out here.

In reading Genesis, it started out with God's creation and then him creating Adam and giving him the responsibility to tend to the Garden of Eden. After doing so, God gave Adam instructions and informed he that he could eat from every tree except the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. I need to stop right there.... So I noticed that Adam was fine with these instructions... He didn't go curiously into the garden to challenge God's command.... It's funny how at times women can so easily sabotage, manipulate and demoralize men when half the time a brother just wants to go to work (for those who have a job) and chill.... Let me continue.

As I continued reading, at the ending of chapter 2, God creates Eve and this is where the trouble begins. I'm sure that's the same feeling some have about us when we come home from work, or your number appears on their cell phone... "he she go". Now mind you, God gave Adam the same command and before Eve arrived the tree of the knowledge of good and evil had been untouched. Perhaps we need to learn to keep our hands to ourselves... (I said this was going to ruffle some feathers)... So now Eve finds herself at the tree she's been instructed not to eat from and now she's in a full blown conversation with a serpent!! In having this conversation with my friend, I told her if I ever got the chance to meet Eve I'd have a lot to say and it probably wouldn't end well for Eve. I mean first off, I don't know too many people, let alone women, who would see a serpent and not run. This part of the story just didn't sit well with me. Sounds like many people I know, and in fact, I've been that person. Having full blown conversations with the enemy and then have the nerve to seek council from someone who doesn't have your best interest at heart. So instead of Eve either FOLLOWING DIRECTIONS, or going to God and asking for an explanation, she asks the serpent about God's order. Ha!! Sound familiar... How many WRONG home girls you gonna ask for advice and then blame them when the results aren't to your betterment? So basically, the serpent does his job and can I say it was pretty easy... With some of us, it don't even take much for you to be deceived. I'm sure many of us are dealing with the results of being easily deceived... Nonetheless, Eve eats the fruit. WHYYYYYY??? Why do we do exactly what we know we shouldn't and not only that we bring it back home!! To our children, husbands, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends and the side chicks too!!

The trouble didn't start with ADAM it was EVE!! Perhaps we as women have to get real with ourselves and stop blaming theses men and whomever else when we know it's us that can be just manipulative and vindictive as the serpent in the center of the garden. Since I don't mind being transparent, I WAS SO EVE and then I played the victim as Eve too. When she was confronted by God she ain't even apologize she blamed the serpent!! NO EVE, YOU HAD A CHOICE... So many of us have choices and we still want to taste the good looking fruit. And once we get a taste, we want to blame the tree!! Of everything I've learned thus far, this has been the most insightful lesson for me. So as always, I have good news... You don't have to be Eve. In fact, some of you reading this may need to go ahead and delete some "good looking fruit" from your phone, return that overpriced dress and have a seat....with me of course lol. This entire post was written just to tell ya'll DON'T BECOME EVE... we face the consequences of Eve's actions once a month and we really get it for those of us who have had to bare a child... 1 Eve is enough, we don't need anymore Eve duplicates out here.

-Nique

Storm You Can't Last

Over the past few weeks we've heard news and witnessed the devastation of Hurricane Harvey and Irma. For those of us not located in Houston, Texas or Florida, from the comforts of our homes, we watched thousands of peoples lives uprooted and some even destroyed at the hands of these devastating natural disasters. The interesting thing about natural disasters is that despite the expertise of many meteorologist and storm experts, there is never really absolute certainty of what the outcome or the aftermath will be when natural disasters decide to pay us a visit. My heart ached as I read articles and seen pictures of flooded streets and damaged homes. I could never imagine having to ,in a moment, revamp my entire life. Well if you've lived long enough, perhaps you've faced some natural disasters in your life. I'm sure the residents in Houston, Texas were caught off guard with news of Harvey being that typically the state of Texas sees hurricanes once every six years. If you've lived in the U.S. long enough one thing for sure is that we really do a poor job of preparing for these unfortunate events despite knowing that this is in fact hurricane season.

I believe we can apply the same outlook to our lives. We so comfortably move through seasons in life without preparing for unexpected natural disasters, in fact many of us believe it will never happen to us. I happen to have a friend who lives in Miami and at the beginning of the week I pleaded with her to pack up her things and leave Florida based on the weather report. Because hurricanes are expected in Florida around this time, I believe my friend made light of this news. How many times in life have you been warned that danger is near and you still chose to go your way? By mid week, thousands of residents had evacuated and eventually streets and roadways were shut down in the state of Florida. By this time, my friend began regretting her decision as she started paying attention to the predictions of Hurricane Irma. All she could do at this time was head to the store and stock up on supplies to face the ugly truth of Irma. I can totally relate to dealing with a total disaster in my life that I was probably warned of and by the time I decided to comply, I found myself, like my friend, stuck in preparing for the storm. It was far too late to evacuate and the only thing left to do was wait it out. How frustrating is it to not only endure the consequences of disobedience but to know that your decision not only put yourself in danger but your children or friends and family as well. 

BUT, there's once again good news. As my friend began preparing her home and going over the safety plan with her child and family, I was on my knees calling on the Ultimate Storm Mover to make a way and to move the storm in a way that would keep my friend and her family out of danger. It's funny how we has humans take all precautions at the very last minute and in fact most of the time all the supplies and all the preparation stand no match to the power of God. As Irma made her grand entrance in Miami, Florida on Saturday afternoon, my friend still had phone service and began sending me video footage of Irma in action. I can't even began to describe the anxiety and worry I felt, let alone how my friend and her family were feeling. I mean just to know that you're life could end within the next 24 hours is something we take for granted everyday. I decided that once I prayed I would no longer worry. I received news a few hours later that Irma was shifting and that the county my friend resides in was cleared of the eye of the storm. I could only smile in appreciation because I knew it was only the saving power of God. But the reality is, not everyone was able to dodge the impacts of Irma....

Why do we live life on the edge thinking that we can be saved from all of our choices? Even when we are provided escape, we still choose to go our own way. I often feel ashamed when I go to God because it seems to be more frequent when a natural disaster has shown up at my front door. Despite my disobedience and misuse of God's grace, it's amazing knowing that when I call he will answer. Not only does he answer, but he hides me so that I am safe. We must not become so narcissistic and prideful that life has to send us natural disasters as a wake up call. For those of us who watched the impacts of these two fatal storms wipe out people and places, perhaps it was only a wake up call for the rest of us. Are you living life on the edge? Are you voluntarily ignoring the signs?  What sense does it make to willing walk into a storm? How many signs must be given to you before you are humbled? Let's not give natural disasters permission to come into our lives because Irma and Harvey have shown us that the risk is far more devastating than we could ever imagine...

-Nique

*My prayers are with the families that have sufferd lost and whose lives have been changed at the hands of Irma and Harvey

 

Rerouting...

The reality is, while each of our lives have defining moment, these moments do not define our ultimate end. Often times many of us get caught up in moments and we give these moments permission to become our final stop. If you're a frequent flyer, I'm sure in your traveling experiences there have been times when you've have to settle for flight that require a few pit stops before arriving at your desired destination. For most travelers, this causes a bit of frustration when attempting to quickly reach your destination for numerous reasons, nonetheless, despite all your attempts to find alternate flights, you end up left with the flight with multiple pit stops. Have you ever taken a flight with many stops in between only to discover that once you got to your destination that stop actually because your saving grace and helped you to avoid a tragic event or maybe even gave you some additional sleep time? Sometimes rerouting isn't such a bad idea after all. In fact, what initially caused you frustration actually turned out to work in your favor...This is where the art of waiting takes place...

I recall a time where my son and I were on the road to visit a friend. Because I frequently visited this friend, I knew the quickest route to take to reach my destination to avoid the extra distance and traffic. While waiting at a light, a small quiet voice said "turn"(reroute). I was taken back by these instructions and debated following through because turning at the light would only delay my arrival time. Despite my uncertainty, I complied with the voice, which now I know was God, and I turned at the light. Unfortunately, the car behind me proceeded through the light as I turned only to be hit head on by a car on the opposite side of the road. I immediately slammed on my breaks and looked behind me to see the car now completely crushed. As my heart raced and my young child sat in his car seat screaming, I jumped out my car to aid the victim that had now been trapped inside their vehicle. To make matters worse, the person responsible for the wreck jumped out their car and fled the scene!! Talk about the benefits of rerouting!! I knew in that moment the importance of not only rerouting but heeding to that still small voice. For if I would've proceeded through the light, perhaps I wouldn't have lived to be sharing this story with you all now.

This same lesson applies to life. Perhaps the many moments we must reroute on this journey called life are actually to our benefit and for our betterment. Rerouting, however, requires the mastery of WAITING... I can be honest and say one of my biggest challenges is patience. I am often frustrated and easily escalated when my plans are alter without my permission and or control. While we may view waiting as super frustrating and unnecessary, learning to wait is essential in avoiding the consequences of preventable stress and anxiety. When we are faced with periods or moments of waiting, perhaps it is God's indirect way of telling us to pause and reflect... Wait time provides opportunity for those many "ah ha" moments that we miss when we are rushing or racing through life. In a world that is digitally and technically driven, we've become so accustomed to everything happening at the tap or click of a button that we've forgotten or have yet to learn the importance of waiting.

The most rewarding things that we have achieved or experienced in life did not happen over night. Most, if not all of these accomplishments took a lot of waiting and rerouting. When we become so fixated on our way, we leave no room for God's way. Many of us right now have found ourselves being constantly rerouted and instead of taking the time to wait and reflect, we proceed even after being redirected, the same way... When and if you find yourself being rerouted in life perhaps taking the time to reflect and revamp may help you to avoid the addition of pit stops.  Although pit stops are purposeful, you don't want to find yourself being constantly rerouted due to a lack of waiting and reflecting. So since we are all frequent flyers in this thing called life, we might as well embrace the pit stops because ultimately its all WORTH THE WAIT...

Because I got FAITH...

This post is one that I will forever cherish and am thankful that at this moment and in this season that I am able to be encouraged by a precious life and how that life, even after its end, still inspires and remains a reminder of the importance of having FAITH in spite of what any life situation or circumstance may look like right now.

In September of 2015, I received news that my best friend had given birth to her baby girl, Faith. This quickly took a tragic turn when after living for 18 days,  Baby Faith was called home by our heavenly father on October 13, 2015. What do you or can you say to a mother, that after carrying her child for nine months,  has now lost her child? I debated sending a scripture, a card or a song but none of these things I felt would truly provide my friend with the peace she needed to endure this extremely difficult time. I didn't want to ponder too long because it was important for my friend to know how much I cared and how truly saddened I was by this news. My best friend and I had somewhat grown in different directions in life, but no matter what, whenever one needed the other we've always been there. I picked up the phone and called Shay and was a little taken back to hear the confidence in her voice. She shared with me the complications Baby Faith faced and told me she was at peace that her baby would no longer suffer. She further went on to explain how in the 9 months of carrying Faith, how much inspiration Faith had provided her and no matter what Shay had come up against during that time, Faith always gave her a reason to keep pushing. In retelling this story, it only reminds me of how ungrateful we can be and how we often take life for granted. I found it truly amazing that despite loosing a life that lived inside of her for 9 WHOLE months, Shay was not defeated and was still determined to stay steadfast in the will and love of God.

I decided to do just a little research of what the definition and the meaning of the name Faith.

Definition: Faith- the belief that is not based on proof (dictionary.com)
Name Meaning: Confidence, Trust & Belief 

Recall in my story I mentioned that upon calling my best friend, to my surprise her tone was confident... It's funny that in looking up the meaning of the name Faith the first word was "Confidence". Many of us are not able to be confident when everything around us has validated our insecurity, doubt and fear. If we are honest with ourselves, in a situation like the one my best friend was faced with, I'm almost certain I probably would've lost all hope. But isn't it funny how God works.... So I had no idea that in this time in my life I would be taking my journey to a blog platform nor was I aware that my best friend had decided to celebrate her daughters upcoming birthday by engaging in 24 Days of Faith... If you've been reading my past blogs, I mentioned God's timing in a previous blog and I also stated that God's timing is always so much better then ours. In a time where I've felt the most vulnerable and unsure, God is able to remind me of Baby Faith and not just for me, but whoever is reading this. Though her time here seems minimal to us, her mission is still unfolding right her right now. For those of us looking for that push, or that reason to go on, well my best friend gave me permission to provide you with Baby Faith. In the midst of any hard time, we have to train and cultivate a mind that is driven by FAITH & HOPE.... 

I used to think that faith and hope were just feelings, but I recently learned that they are actually ways of living and ways in which the mind works. Similar to fear... the bible says that we WALK BY FAITH, meaning that when I wake up in the morning, so does FAITH; when I walk into the job I constantly complain about and take for granted, so does FAITH; when I walk into the court room before the judge makes his final ruling, so does FAITH; when I open the mail box to that unexpected bill, so does FAITH; when I sit on the examining table waiting for the doctor to deliver my results, so does FAITH; when I drop my child off at school in a world that's plagued by racism and hate, SO DOES FAITH.... I say all this to say, it doesn't matter how you ended up where you are right now. What matters is your decision to operate from a place of FAITH!!For some of us this is difficult when you feel like you have to have everything under control until it all falls down and you're all out of answers. This is what I love about Faith... faith provides us with the wherewithal to know that in spite of what it LOOKS like... what it looks like is only temporary, but that doesn't determine with it will BE!! I encourage each and everyone of you to activate your faith. In times where you are feeling lost, depressed, overwhelmed, tired, sad, suicidal, or any other negative thought that seeks to destroy you... HAVE FAITH!!! 

I want to thank my best friend for allowing me to share her story and I hope someone out there was touched.

-Nique

In Memory of Faith Alyse Deloach 09/25/15- 10/13/15

 

Abandoning What We Know = Unnecessary Consequences

While reflecting yesterday, I came across another powerful message from Sarah Jakes. I couldn't even listen to the message in it's entirety after she made the following statement:

"When you abandon what you know, you suffer consequences that are unnecessary."

I had to stop right there and chuckle because I find this to be so true. Often times, we know exactly what the outcome of many of the situations we find ourselves in will be, however, we forsake this knowledge just to satisfy our wants. Isn't it crazy sometimes how bad we want the thing, person or place we know know isn't best for us? What we want ends up becoming more important than what we KNOW! That hit me hard. I had to sit for a moment and think about where I am currently and how I've come to this place based on satisfying my wants instead of using the God given knowledge to avoid the unnecessary consequences that life so nicely provided me...

I often tell my son that "knowledge is power" and when I say this I overlook the fact that this doesn't just apply to academics but it applies to every aspect of your life. What we know is power to dodge the many upsets in life.  To further my understanding, I looked up with the bible says about knowledge and I found that Proverbs 2:6 says "For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth comes knowledge and understanding". How many times have you found yourself in a situation where you heard that voice say "no ma'am"... sometimes we make God so deep... sometimes the wisdom he provides us is a simple "no" that we will try and rationalize just for what we want because somehow we end up believing what we want is better than what we know we need and what God has for us. Despite the fact that we know the signs, we know the people and things we need to disconnect ourselves from, we know the ways within us that are toxic but we still want what we want and then end up volunteer victims dealing with the consequences.

I shared this reflection with a friend who reached out to me a few days ago about a decision to end a relationship she knew had ran its course and was no longer fulfilling to her. Her struggle in making the decision that she KNEW (knowledge) had to be made was solely based on how the other party would feel and what the other person would want. As she reflected she said to me "Sometimes we are so caught up in the external; what's going to make us feel good and who we look good with, that we overlook how this distorts and stunts our growth. How can growth even take place in a place where there is no substance?" At this point, I think my friend realized she had the knowledge all along and knew exactly what needed to be done. This is many of us though, the only difference is most of us will find excuses and reasons to stay connected to that which is causes circuit shorts in our lives.



We find ourselves stuck, not because we have to be but because we choose to ABANDON WHAT WE KNOW. I'm realizing more and more that self-love and growth isn't as difficult as we believe. In fact, the more I reflect on this the more I understand how vulnerability is mandatory. What I know ultimately guides the truth. When I operate in truth I am operating from a place of wholeheartedness, which is what vulnerability is all about. Our wants cloud the truth and obscures our judgement. I used these two examples when chatting with my sister circle yesterday:

Ex. 1: Why ponder about a relationship you know is not good for you? Why stay connected to someone you don't trust? To go even further, someone who shown you they can't be trusted thus resulting in you responding with equally distrustful behaviors so what's become of this situation is two dysfunctional connected people operating in distrust... How can a relationship survive in a place where the trust has been compromised? Why spend your life wondering what the other person is constantly doing, when WHAT YOU KNOW has already shown you this isn't for you... Which brings me to this, if God is all powerful and all knowing and is showing and telling us to let a situation and or a person go, then surely he has something better in store for us. See the danger of abandoning what we know is we miss out on what's truly best for us. We never make it to see the "better" because we spend years satisfying our wants and when we do this God can't  even give you what he has for you because you wouldn't know how to handle it when you're operating from a place of satisfying your wants....You want a functional and happy relationship yet you CHOSE to spend years in a defective  one and as a result God cannot connect you with a better option because imagine the danger or that...

Ex. 2 I know that I need to be a better steward over my finances. Looking at my bank account and all the late bills, it's not rocket science to know that perhaps I should spend some time financially reflecting and SAVING... but... I find myself at the mall buying those shoes I know I don't need or eating out when we all know it's cheaper to cook a meal at home. What sense does it make to spend what you know you don't have? The reality is now you have to work 10x's harder to clean up a mess you could've avoided if only you wouldn't have abandoned what you know!

In moving forward, because it makes no sense to dwell on the past, ask yourself a couple of questions:
1. What is it that I want?
2. What is it that I know?
3. Are my wants more important than what I know?
4. What do I still need to unpack?
5. Where do I need to disconnect?
6. Do I want to suffer unnecessary consequences?

We often make things harder for ourselves simply because we refuse to utilize our knowledge. It truly makes no sense to go to school everyday and sit in class and still end up failing....

-Nique